Dear Car,

Why, with it being less than four days before Christmas and I haven't finished all of my shopping yet, would you decide to go off the deep end and start sputtering and smoking and much blinking of the "check engine" light?
Sigh......
I love you and you've been very faithful although at times I have strayed.
Am I not giving you enough attention?
I just spent $420.25 on that gas tank thingy.
Was that not enough?!
Are you trying to bust my checking account so that we can spend more time together (i.e. me sleeping in the car?!?)
I thought you loved me.
I'm upset but I'm going to do what you want because you have a way of holding it over my head if I don't.
I can't do this every month.
Please get well soon.
~Rachel