Christmas On NYE

The moon is full tonight and shining bright on the highway.
I've just been to my dad's house.
I don't think we have the perfect relationship but I'd say it's been better than every before.
And somebody is shooting fireworks.
Pink and white.
So pretty.

Resolutions? Maybe. Revolutions? I Sure Hope So.

This year i'm going to work on getting over growing up.
And i'm going to exercise more.

Thought For The Day

Pick your battles.

Check This Out!

So everyone knows I'm a recycling nut.
This nuttiness has been recently fueled by my blogfriend Zakary at http://www.raisingcolorado.com/, who posted a link to a website where you can......
Here, you look at it.
http://www.stjudesranch.org/help_card.php
And do it!
This is pretty cool, and it helps out cancer kids.
******
On another note, I'm about to kill the dog.
She won't quit jumping at me with her stupid tennis ball while I'm trying to type!
And James Earl Jones is scary no matter what role he plays!

A $60 check from the dentist. I'm confused, but hey, I'll cash it!

Life Isn't Fair

I know this.
But it's still a smack in the face when someone who has less skills than you makes more money than you, all because they're married to the right person, who happens to be high on the totem pole.
And they get away with sitting on their butt all the time.

To My 8 Followers:

Merry Christmas!

Dognails

Nikki needs her toenails cut really bad.
They are getting disgustingly long.
And I gotta do it.
I do not have a case of the exciteds.

Dear Car,

Why, with it being less than four days before Christmas and I haven't finished all of my shopping yet, would you decide to go off the deep end and start sputtering and smoking and much blinking of the "check engine" light?
Sigh......
I love you and you've been very faithful although at times I have strayed.
Am I not giving you enough attention?
I just spent $420.25 on that gas tank thingy.
Was that not enough?!
Are you trying to bust my checking account so that we can spend more time together (i.e. me sleeping in the car?!?)
I thought you loved me.
I'm upset but I'm going to do what you want because you have a way of holding it over my head if I don't.
I can't do this every month.
Please get well soon.
~Rachel

NOEL

Last night was my church's Christmas cantata.
The theme was NOEL, Night of Everlasting Love.
Boots and I arrived about a minute late but that's ok, we didn't miss much of the director's speech.
The sanctuary was darkly lit with bright spot lights shining on the 37 members of the adult choir.
They all wore crisp, white, longsleeved shirts.
The men wore red bow ties and the ladies wore red scarves draped around their necks.
Even the preacher wore a red bow tie.
The colors were dramatic and fit the music and the season.
The narrator had the perfect speaking voice for telling parts of the Christmas story.
The "Hallelujah" chorus was so LOUD! --just like it ought to be.
Boots was so handsome in his khaki pants and red button-down shirt.
I wanted to climb in his lap and wrap my arms around his neck but I was afraid that was a little to hoochy inappropriate for church.
My favorite song they sang was "Holy Night"; it gave me chills.
And then, the youth minister's beautiful wife sat down in front of us with her little two month old baby and the show was over as far as I was concerned.
He stared at me with his dark alien eyes and had the cutest piggy nose and fat, starfish hands.
He never cried or fussed even though the music was loud and the clapping was even louder.
It wasn't quite the ovary-jumping moment that I hear so many thirty-somethings-getting-too-close-to-the-end people talking about but I couldn't concentrate on the songs after that.
Babies.
I want one but I can wait.
In the meantime, I've got bigger fish to fry.
Or catch.

This Post Brought to You By: Captain Planet!!

Do you remember Captain Planet?
The cartoon tv show with the green (or was he blue?) flying super hero and his team of elements: heart, fire, water, wind or something like that that set out to change all of the environmental problems of the world?
This was like early nineties, before Al Gore stepped on the whole global warming scene.
Here they are......

There's five of them so I must have left an element out.
Oh, well.
Look it up.


I blame Captain Planet for this.

Do you see what's wrong with this picture?
Do you?
DO YOU?!


No?
Let's go closer.

NOW do you see what's wrong with this picture?!
That's right, its on.
The printer is on.
You say to yourself, "But Rach, I'm going to use it."
When are you going to use it?
Tomorrow?
And leave it on from yesterday through today until tomorrow?
No, absolutely not.
Captain Planet would stroke that you are wasting 53 cents (where's the cents sign on this computer?!) of electricity because of your laziness!
(Why is there a $ symbol but no cents?!)
That little green light is costing you pennies, but the world is running out of electricity and you are wasting it in your selfish laziness!
How hard is it to push that little button before you print something and then push it again after your printing is complete?

Have you ever thought about flicking the light switch before you leave the room?
"But, Rachel.  The building looks so sad without all the lamps on!"
Who's here to see how sad the building looks without every. single. lamp. on.
Nobody.

I feel like I have spent half of my life (at least!) trying to please this Captain Planet complex I have within me but still somehow remain sane.
Garbage on the road irks me.
Useless electricity usage sends me over the edge (Although I am a stickler for leaving my cable box on.  How else do my shows get DVRed if the box is off?)
And what to do with the ceiling fan?
APCO says to run the ceiling fan because it reduces heating and cooling bills but doesn't that increase my electricity bill?
Should I just turn everything off and sweat/shiver in the dark instead?

Captain Planet, Captain Planet!
WHY did you choose to infiltrate the mind of a helpless six year old?
WHY?!
I spend so much time thinking about the things that could be done but so little time actually doing something about it and I'm racked with guilt inside!
Captain Planet, sir, I need help.
Please come back to Earth and help us straighten this mess out!
I can't do it alone and Al Gore doesn't know who I am!

Like I said, I have a guilty conscious.
Which means I'm spending all this time on my computer, which has a battery, which has to be charged via electricity and kicking myself because I know Captain Planet wouldn't approve.
Time to go!
But first, a list of disclaimers.

*Actual electricity costs per wattage, kilowatt-hour whatever, and all that other APCO stuff not factual information in this post.  Its an estimate.  I'm just sayin'.*
*The pictures of the printer, I took. The picture of Captain Planet, I stole.  I Binged it.  So sue me.  Or I'd really rather you not.  I really don't have the money for a lawsuit cuz I'm trying to save for this whole rest-of-my-life thing that has popped up that includes a dress, a house, a car, and babies.  K?  Thanks.*
*Captain Planet received no compensation from this post but I'm sure he got some royalties off that 20 bucks I spent at HotTopic two years ago on a Captain Planet t-shirt.*
*HotTopic did not receive any compensation from that previous shout-out.*

Hard Work, Baby

This morning if you were at my house you would find me skipping up and down the hall in my underwear singing "The Messiah" Hallelujah chorus at the top of my lungs because I'm so friggin' HAPPY that my grades for this semester are so good!
Two A's and two B's!
AHHHHHH!!
Except, I'm at work and I'm trying to contain myself so I'm imaging myself skipping up and down the hall in my underwear singing Hallelujahs.

"Don't dig up a snake to kill it."

-MOS

Spontaneous Runners

You ever see these people?
I'm usually coming back from The Publix or The Target when I see somebody jogging down the road and it always kind of freaks me out.
These people aren't running for their health, I don't think, because they're not dressed in workout clothes.
They're usually wearing blue jeans and big puffy coats since its cold now.
It makes me think maybe I should stop and offer assistance.
Maybe their house is on fire and they're running to the nearest phone because their's isn't working for whatever reason.
Maybe their kid is choking and they need to find someone who knows CPR.
What am I supposed to do in this type situation?
I usually just continue on my way and feel bad about not stopping but I don't want to appear all stalker-ish.
And if they really needed help, wouldn't they be trying to wave down help instead of jogging along?
Help me please!

"When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum."

--Author Unknown

Seventeen Forever

Today has been a dreary day.
Dark, cold, and rainy.
The weather was like this two years ago.
December 8, 2007.
I worked that day, 8 to 2.
I really hated that shift because they wouldn't let us take a lunch break.
Went home to my dorm after work. 
Lazed around, played on the internet and took pictures of myself for my facebook when I should have been studying for my first semester of college finals.
A little after six-ish, my little sister called me.
Bawling.

"Amber had a wreck. 

She didn't make it."

She had been at a friend's house working on a term paper for her senior year of high school.
She told the friend she was heading home, but really wasn't.
Instead of going home she went the opposite direction to see a boy her parents didn't want her to see.
It was raining, the roads were slick.
There were no skid marks where her car left the road on that hill.
Just a black scar on the edge of the woods, where her car had burned the ground.
The trees were broke off even with the ground, bits of car parts scattered.
A few days before she'd passed out a work, they thought maybe she's passed out and wrecked that night.
She was known to be a reckless driver.
I know the feeling of going somewhere you know you shouldn't be, trying too drive fast to make up for the time that would be lost.
I don't know but I think it was probably a combination of a wet road and speeding that helped cause the wreck.
Some say the car was defective, that it had some mechanical problems.
Her funeral was three days later.
No viewing, no visitation.
No one saw her, her body was too badly burned.
She had to be identified by her teeth.
Her rings were returned to her mother, the stones had changed colors from the heat.
They played Carrie Underwood's song, "So Small."
Everyone cried.
The casket was a pale, baby pink with her picture setting on top of it.
I have never cried so much at a funeral, not even my grandma's funeral and I loved her more than anybody in the world.
I had never known tragedy like this in our family.
We used to play together when we were little but in recent years we'd been kind of distant. 
We ran in different circles, we had different friends.
She stayed in trouble and I was trying to get out.
I heard Pearl Jam's "Last Kiss" song right after six tonight and it made me think of the present weather and the weather that night.
I don't cry when I think about her or when I hear things that make me remember something about her.
Some people have had a very hard time dealing with her death but I'm ok with it.
I do wonder what she'd be doing now if she were still alive though.

It infuriates me to have people at my house when I come home.

Dirty

Deep down, I think we're all bad people.
We are all evil people that try our best to cover up how truly terrible we are.
We don't want anyone to know how vile we really are but the next person is just as bad as you are, they're just a little better at keeping it hid.
We do things to try to atone for our terribleness.
We go to church, we donate money for the poor, we try to raise our children to be good so that maybe we can throw people off the scent.
Maybe all the effort we're putting into this will help make up for it.
This ruse can go on for quite a while.
It can go on until we do something that pushes someone over the edge and they decide that they can't take our squeaky clean outside anymore.
The person becomes angry and tries to pull out all of our evil insides, like a gut-shot animal running through the woods, with its intestines catching on all the briars.
We are exposed, for all to see.
We are all terrible.
I heard someone say once that he's "just tryin' to break even."
How many of us are just trying to break even?
We do what little bit of good we can in hopes that maybe one day it might help us to break even with all the bad we've done.
But the sad thing is we can never do enough.

I have more future than I do past.
I can't change the past, but I can do something about the future.

"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."

William Ernest Henley (Invictus)

I heard this Friday night for the first time.
It kind of grabbed me.

Confession is good for the soul.
Especially when its to the one you love.

I Stand On My Head When I Poop!

I've been spending a lot of time with my dog here lately.
A lot of time.
So much time that I've started to notice funny little things about her.
Like how after a bath, after she's had her hair dried and brushed, and she knows its time to be freed from the bathroom, when I pick up her collar to put it back on her, she walks to me and sticks her neck out sorta like, "Hey!  Put my bling back where it belongs!" even though its just a rinky-dink pink reflective collar.
Boots brought this one to my attention: When she's outside using the potty, ahem! going #2, she picks her back legs up off the ground.
Off the ground!
How?
Why?
Is she afraid that she's going to step in it?
Hahahaha!
She's kinda OCD too.
She hates to get tangled up in her leash.
If for some reason the leash gets between her legs she'll stop walking and hold her leg up so the leash will fall out of the way.
Crazy I'm telling you.
She's a lot of fun though and I love her.
Boots is pretty attached to her too.
I just wished she got along with his baby, Cloe.

Just Chillin'

Me and Boots

Let Me See Them Fillings!

Today I have to go to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned.
I am not excited.
I've been going to the same dentist for, oh, five years now and I still don't like it.
But I keep going there because I'm comfortable there.
I'm very routine-y and the serial killers that follow me around waiting for their perfect opportunity to knock me off know it.
Very routine-y.
There's just something about going to the dentist.
I know its a necessary thing, and I want my teeth to keep being just as beautiful as they are.
Its not the pain.
Although I do twinge a little when she's scrapin' away and make little "oh! I'm in agony!" sounds when she goes a little too far.
Its not the wondering if I'm going to have any cavities.
I drink a lot of milk.
A LOT of milk.
Its not the waiting in the waiting room with all the little kids bouncing around.
Everyone that works there is super friendly.
But I hate Hate HATE having to lie there on my back in that weird chair with my mouth hanging wide open while some old lady with a funky too-young-for-her hairdo, too many holes in her ears, and clown makeup scrapes away my plaque that plagues and spits all over my face while she yells at somebody in the other room.
I think my biggest hangup with this scenario is the whole "lying on my back" part.
I feel vulnerable in that position.
I feel like anything I don't want to happen to me could happen to me while I'm lying on my back with my mouth wide open.
Can't some genius design a different chair so I don't have to lay suppine?!
Do you hate the dentist too?
Why?
P.S. The title for this post was brought to you courtesy of the nasty old perverted fart I saw at Burger King last year. Apparently, that's his line of choice for picking up super hot babes that work the counter. Ugh.

"Death is a process and not a moment in time."

"True love is doing, not just feeling."
I got this off a church marquee.
Fits though.

Fly Away

I want this shirt.
What is it about me and wings?
I'm a wing freak.
I love wings.

The Horror!

They've blocked Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter on the computers at school!
How. Am. I. Supposed. To. Communicate.
>:(

Hair Cut!

Boots and I cut her hair.
Doesn't she look nice?

Frustration

Why is it that I always have the best ideas for a great blog post when I'm half asleep and can't pull myself out of the stupor to get up and jot them down?!

My Procrastination About My Birthday Post

Its been over a week since I've posted anything and I feel terribly guilty about that.
I don't know if anybody reads this or not but for some reason I feel as though I have an obligation to write the interesting things of my life and put them out there for the world to read.
(Holler if you read this!)
As you may know, or you may not know, I've been dating this super awesome guy I like to refer to as "Boots" for about six months now.
Boots is the greatest guy I've ever dated.
He's so well rounded and is right up my alley in every way.
He really went all out for my birthday last week.
It was amazing.
I was the most surprised I have ever been in my life.
I ain't even playin'.
******
The Birthday" started off quiet.
Went to bed late the night before, got up early that morning, cried my eyes out for a good 15 minutes (it always happens, I can never not cry on my birthday.
Except last year.
I should have cried watching the vet stick that electrode up the bulls' rear ends so that he could check out their sperms.
That was an experience I hope I don't ever have to repeat, especially on my birthday.), went back to sleep for a small nap, did some cleaning in my aunt's house, got a phone call from my uncle to "get dressed and ready to go flying", did the whole flying thing, it was a leeee-tle turbulant due to the weather and various airplane-y things such as that, but, whooooo what a rush!

Boots came to pick me up to take me back to his house because he cooked dinner for me for my birthday.
Gave my aunt and girl cousin a rose, gave my boy cousin a metal "to-scale" copy of his work vehicle, gave my uncle and The Marine an information sheet about where we were going and what we were doing which was absolutely hilariously ironic but I can't post that because it has some personal information on it.
I know you're confused but trust me when I say it was hilarious.
Drove me to his house.
I got distracted by a cloud that, to me, looked like a horse, some people say a poodle, and somebody else thought it was a rabbit.
What do you think?

He told me I had to wait outside for 3 minutes before I could come inside so I took that opportunity to snap a picture and make my dog pee all over the ground because she was so excited to see me.
(She stayed with him for a week, since I was at my aunt's and couldn't keep her with me.)
My 3 minutes is finally up and I get to go inside.
He makes me face him as he backs me into the house.
Its dark.
I can see candles lit as I look over his shoulder into the mirror above his couch.
Candles.
He's a candle freak.
I'm not surprised yet but this is cute.
Before he turns me around he gives this little speech, "Any Tom, Dick, and Harry can take you out to eat for your birthday but I wanted to cook for you and I wanted to make it special."
He turns me around and there's no better word to describe my reaction than shocked. Where there once was an ironing board and his detached bathroom door, there's a table.
A new table.
With two beautiful chairs.
The table is covered in a tan table cloth with crimson place mats, folded crimson linen napkins, new tan plates, new beautiful glasses (I love glass!), two tapered candles, and a rose in a vase.
The man bought a friggin' table for my birthday!
Talk about surprised!
I turn around and have the biggest smile on my face, I know.
I can't help it.
Nobody ever surprises me and this was the nicest thing anybody could have done for my birthday.
He guides/pushes me to my chair.
There's a card beside my plate and I read it while he fixes my plate and pours me a glass of tea.
The card is so sweet.
I love words and I've read it over and over many times since he gave it to me.
I think the card may have been my favorite thing of all.
We eat, in the dark, in the candle light and talk about all the normal things we always talk about.
After we finish eating we go outside to his designated fire area and sit and watch the fire burn and look at the stars.
After the fire dies down we go back inside and he gives me a present.
Wrapped in newspaper and secured with duck tape.
The present is an inside joke between us but its hilarious and I love it.
Then he pulls out another present.
More newspaper, more duck tape.
Love his mad wrapping skills!
I'm a sucker for things people do themselves, i.e. cooking dinner, writing me a card, wrapping things himself.
This present is a hard drive that I had mentioned I thought I needed.
This man listens to me!
He feeds me ice cream sitting on his couch watching TV.
When I say "feeds" I mean that literally.
Its kinda silly but kinda cute and now its sort of a thing we just do.
He takes me home to my aunts and for at least two days after that my feet don't touch the ground.
I'm floored.
Flabbergasted.
Blown away.
Swept off my feet.
Whatever you wanna call it.
I couldn't imagine a man doing something like this and being this sweet and romantic.
I certainly never expected it from Mr.-Tough-Guy Boots!
It was great.
The whole thing was just........great.
And to quote Forrest Gump, "That's about all I have to say about that."

I know, I know, I know.
I haven't posted in forever!

Today is my birthday.
I've only been awake 5 hours and I'm already crying.

"Stay on your side of the fence, once you decide where that is."

---AG

I'm Thinking......

......Of maybe deleting this and taking my words to paper.
Ya know, real paper.
So, my kids can like go back and read this crap.
If I have any kids.
If they even care.

"People are like tomatoes-- they need time to ripen and they bruise easy."

Tess from Touched By An Angel

My Last Visitation......

Saturday night I was southbound to G-boro when my old man calls and says, and I quote, "Hey! You comin' to visitation tonight?"
And I'm like, "Well, who died?!"
Turns out, it was a lady that I've known all my life.
She was my Sunday School teacher at church for a few years and she's always helped with VBS.
She lost her battle to cancer last week.
I'm not sure how hold she was but I'm sure she had a good life.
She was always a happy woman and very smiley.
I flew back to T-town to get ready (I took a 35 second shower) and then flew on to C-ville.
I got there about 20 minutes before the visitation was scheduled to end, but these things always run late, I know, it's OK.
Visited with a few of my relatives that were still there.
Went in the parlor.
Talked with a few people I knew, including her kids and husband.
Never got closer than 10 feet of her casket.
I couldn't make myself go over and look at her.
I see dead people every single day.
My life revolves around dead people but I could not walk over to that casket and look at her.
I wanted to see her.
I wanted to inspect their work but something was up.
I just couldn't do it.
I'm still trying to figure it out.
I'm a mystery.

Hello......

What's this?
I have followers now?
I'm up to 3!
Yay!
I'm so excited!
When did this happen?
I'll have to think of something interesting to write about now, although I do have something in mind already that's not so interesting but part of my "weirdness."

"A rut is just a grave with the ends knocked out"

Bacon

It wasn't what I thought it'd be but at the same time it was everything I expected.
I guess I can thank TV for that.
I've been desensitized.
It was so much for somebody but it was nothing for me.
TV may have prepared me for the sight but other people and their warnings didn't prepare me for the smell.
They said it'd be the worst ever.
I disagree.
It was warm and woodsy, Southern and comforting, greasy and unhealthy.

Reverence for the Dead

"Show me the manner in which a nation or community cares for its dead and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender sympathies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land, and their loyalty to high ideals."

British Prime Minister William Ewart Gladstone (1809-1898)
Embalming: History, Theory, and Practice (4th Edition)

(Gasp!) Coffee!!

I am so sleepy.
Last night was one of those nights that made me wish (yet again) that I was one of those people that could stay up for 3 days straight on five hours of sleep.
But, sadly, I am not one of those people.
I need at least 8 hours to feel like I'm alert and perky.
Seven is the optimum minimum for me.
Six is really stretching it.
Five is a joke.
How much sleep did I get last night?
About four hours worth I think.
Man, oh, man, I am tired.
I need to drink about a gallon of coffee so my eyes will open and I can *attempt* to start my accounting homework.
Is there a way to condition oneself to run on less sleep and still feel like a "normal" person and not a zombie?
Please tell me.
There's too many things to do at night that I can't stay up for because I have to sleep!
Or maybe that's just how I'm supposed to be.
Maybe I'm supposed to be one of those folks that does great things during the daytime for the rest of their life and pays for it by having to sleep all night every night.
Hmmm......
But I'm not artsy.
I have no great talent.
There's nothing special about me and my life.
Why am I destined to be required to fulfill my 8 hours every night from now til the end?
What's the reason?

Finale!

I have finished cutting the dog's hair!

She is a true work of art.

You definitely need an abstract view on things in order to appreciate her new hairdo.

Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of a moving dog that hates having her picture made?

Big, poofy head.

Little skinny body.

But, seriously, its not that bad.

She doesn't look that bad, does she?

Someone's been shearin' sheep.

Lots of sheep shearin'.

Lots of, lots of sheep hair.

Er......wool.

Or not.

Before.

After.

First time I've ever cut her hair myself.

I'm not finished though.

Her legs and face are still fuzzy but her back and neck is pretty much the same length.

She acted really good throughout the whole process.

I was surprised.

Don't Eat It!

This is probably not safe to eat but, it sure photographs well.

Kinda cute.

"Something as small as a flea can be the biggest problem in the world if it's where you can't quite reach it."

------The Marine

One Of My Favorites......

I don't take good pictures.
Rarely, ever do I take good pictures.
This picture was taken last October on a charter bus headed back to Mississippi from Orlando.
I had just woken up moments before and was enjoyed a cramped stretch when my paparazzi-style instructor (he calls it "pots-a-razzi") got all snap happy on me.
I like it.
Its cute.
Its me.

7-30-07

Last year on the first anniversary of my grandmother's death I went to her grave.
This year I went to visit Boots.
Didn't go to her grave.
Didn't talk about her to anybody.
Never mentioned her the whole day.
But I thought about her the whole day.
Shortly before my grandpa got married I decided that there was no use in me being sad anymore.
Being sad wasn't going to bring her back.
Nothing will.
I don't cry about her anymore.
I don't go visit her grave anymore.
She's not there.
She's in my head.
In my head, she'll never die.
Even though she did die, I will remember her until I can't remember her anymore, because she's in my head.
I loved her.
I still love her but its not the same kind of love.
I think about her all the time.

Smooth

Went out to eat.
Spilled Boots' drink on myself.
Smooth.
Real smooth.

Dear Pioneer Woman

Dear Pioneer Woman,
I love you but you almost killed me tonight.
I love your blog.
I read it several times a day.
I've tried several of your recipes, my latest being your Fried Zucchini Strings.
Uh-huh.
I think you know where this is going.
I don't know how to fry!
But I'm a pyro and I know how to start fires!
I waited until the grease (I'm from Alabama, we don't call it oil) was very hot.
I plunged in my first batch of Zucchini Strings, just like you said, and let them brown.
They turned out OK. A little smaller than I thought they'd be but maybe I julienned them a little too much.
This was my first time using a mandolin before; I'm a beginner.
Salted them, devoured them, forged ahead.
The second batch turned out about the same as the first.
Still liking this project, we (Melanie and I) kept on.
This time, I put in too many.
And our pot was too small.
And the grease spilled over the side.
And the eye caught on fire.
And I screamed muddy blurder.
And Melanie screamed muddy blurder.
And Nikki (that's my dog) went berserk.
It was a very dramatic few seconds, you should have been there.
Really, you should.
The flames were only about a foot tall and licking the bottom of the microwave.
Me, in my infinite wisdom, threw two of Melanie's favorite kitchen towels on the flames to smother them.
I learned this in all those stupid courses I've taken that I thought I'd never have a use for.
Melanie was afraid the towels would catch on fire and I barely managed to stop her from pouring a cup of water all over our electric stove!!!
But, the situation was taken care of.
The towels were thrown away.
I decided I'd had enough of danger and Zucchini Strings for one night and poured us both a stiff drink to calm our nerves.
Maybe another night, probably tonight, I'll try the Fried Zucchini Strings again.
But this time, I'll be armed with baking soda and a fire extinguisher.
And possible a fire truck.
I really need to get some Renter's Insurance.
Today.
Love,
Your Friend You've Never Met,
Rachel.
P.S. There are no pictures to go along with this post.
I find it very difficult to take pictures while cooking and not fighting fires.
I don't know how you do it.
But, that's why you're my hero.

How True......

"Rose-colored glasses are never made in bifocals because nobody wants to read the small print in dreams."
------Ann Landers

Death Is The Overtone Of The Day

It always happens.
It happened in the fifth grade with my friend RJ.
RJ was an outsider as far as fifth grade circles went.
In the fifth grade if you were any way different or "less perfect" than all the other kids thought they were you were singled out and considered to be weird and ugly.
I'm guilty of making fun of her and picking on her too.
But then her mother died.
Something about the cruelest kid changes when they hear about someone dying and for a few minutes they are compassionate.
Lots of kids, including me, felt sorry for RJ and the loss of her mother.
We were glad it wasn't us and a particular few reached out to her and brought her into our little circle.
We were close friends with RJ until graduation.
After that, I kind of went my own way but that is neither here nor there and has nothing to do with the title of this post.
RJ's story was just to provide a little bit of background on the fact that I've been here before.

The Ragin' Cajun's son died.
He was riding his motorcycle and was hit by Mexican with no license.
Braindead, The Ragin' Cajun had to decided to take him off life support.
I know this was a very difficult decision for her and I'm sure that I couldn't have made it.
I would have to wait several weeks in order to make sure that a decision this permanent was the right choice.
I would have to wait and make sure that the person would never be able to live any kind of life beyond a vegetative state again.
The story behind The Ragin' Cajun is this: she drives us all up the flippin' wall!
We can't stand her.
She's blunt with her clients and drives them away from her because of her persistent saleslady attitude.
She's good at selling things, but not so good at relating to people in their time of need.
We all have had a run in with her and recently she's gotten worse.
But now that The Ragin' Cajun is hurting, we're circling the wagons to help her.
She's suffering and we're reaching out.
Trying to bring in someone who we previously pushed away.
Why are people like this?
Are all people like this or is it just me?
Do animals do the same thing when another animal experiences loss and hurt like this?
I know its tough and I feel terrible for her.
What else can I do other than be nice to her, even though she's not on my favorite people in the world list?
I feel terrible for her.
She has to come in today and make funeral arrangements for her son.
It will be hard seeing her and I know she'll fall to pieces when she walks in that front door.
I would.
I'd hate to be in her shoes.
******
I wonder how Boots' night was last night.
It was the Take Back Our Highways weekend and I'm sure he arrested lots of people.
Maybe he's got a good story.
Or two.
Maybe nothing too dangerous.
******
I am definitely feeling the pain of all that running.
My muscles are aching.
My thigh muscles.
My calf muscles.
My shin muscles.
My rib muscles.
(forgot the proper names of those, thanks two semesters of Anatomy! You were lots of help!)
My stomach muscles.
But I'm going running in the morning.
If I keep on I might get skinny.
******
I went down to the farm last night.
The air was so sweet.
And quiet.
Well......
Sort of.
It was quiet until the cows got wind of the pellets we were offering and then they went NUTS!
Mooing all over the place.
Jumping around everywhere, jostling each other to get to them first.
It was exciting and scary at the same time!
I mean, cows are pretty docile but they're huge!
The little ones weigh 800 pounds and most of these were probably close to twice that size!
Yikes!
But I love cows.
I can't wait to have my own one day.
I can't wait to have my own farm where I can get away from everything.
Away from all these people.
Away from the traffic noise.
A place where I can work on something that matters.
Like pulling weeds out of my garden.
I love pulling weeds.
Its probably unhealthy how much I love pulling weeds.
Its destruction but constructive at the same time.
Constructive destruction.
We fed the tilapia.
Man, I can't wait to eat them!
We fed ourselves.
Grilled vegetables (squash, onions, zucchinis, tomatoes) and shrimp.
Man, it was good.
******
I really need to go back there and work on that dresser but I'm just not feeling it yet this morning.
I'm almost finished sanding it and then after that the next step is the wood filler.
******
My mom is coming to stay with me tonight.
Oh.
Dear.

"Its Very Hard to Surprise Me"

Those will be my famous last words.
Don't ever tell a man that has "Determined" as his middle name that you can't be surprised.
Because you will get sent home early from work.
And you're not very observant.
And when you take your dog out to pee, he will stick his tongue out at you.
You will do a double take.
Then your face will erupt in a big smile because you haven't seen him in over a week.
That is exactly what happened.
I was surprised.

Don't Mind Me While I Stroke Out

I am so broke.
I get paid Saturday.
Saturday as in two days from now.
My check is already gone.
The money has already been used up with my bills.
So I'm looking forward to the next paycheck.
Two weeks from now.
My car still hasn't been returned to me.
It will be borrowed until at least Monday.
That will put it at 15 days out of my possession.
Oh, how I miss my car.
I'd like to run away.
School starts in less than a month.
I'm really gonna stroke out if it turns out that the whole thing was a sham and school's really not paid for.
Oh, dear.

My Dog

1. Loves her SpongeBob golf ball.
2. Scratches her face all the time because she has heat rash.
3. Is currently without fleas.
4. Growls at you when she wants you to throw her ball.
5. Barks at every little cricket fart she hears.
6. Hates people she doesn't already know.
7. Doesn't like to be outside, she gets too hot.
8. Doesn't know it, but she's getting her haircut at home next time.

Further proof that gambling and slot machines aren't for me: I lost 75 cents to the stamp machine at the grocery store.

Things I Love

1. Breakfast food no matter what the occasion or time of day.
2. New books.
3. No spelling errors.
4. Sugar.
5. Taking naps
6. Good pictures of myself.
7. Art.
8. Music.
9. Getting to know new friends.
10. Kittens.
11. Fresh bedsheets.
12. Clothes straight out of the drier.

More Zoo Pictures

So, is it black on white or white on black?

My Favorite Part

A skeleton, of course.

Zoo Trip 2009

A Photo Tells a Story

This one picture sums up the pauper cemetery in New Orleans.
The cemetery is right next to Delgado, the college where the funeral service program is.
The whole thing is full of markers and headstones like this one.
People just use whatever they can.
And they have to because they're so poor.
Kinda sad.
I love cemeteries.
They have so many stories.
I love a good story.

This is Going to Hurt

I really like Boots.
Really, really like Boots.
I like where this is going.

Thriller!

Doesn't she look like Michael Jackson when her hair is wet? lol

My Dee Dee

This is a picture of me, my Dee Dee, and my Popaw before I left for my senior prom in 2007.

My Dee Dee died in July of 2007.
It all started with the blackberry rum cake at Thanksgiving 2006.
Then the throwing up everyday.
Then the weakness.
Then going to the hospital Christmas 2006 night.
Then finding out that she had pancreatic cancer two days later.
Finding out she was terminal, it was hard to kill.
Finding out that the cancer had spread to her liver.
Still throwing up every single day.
Every single day.
The chemo.
The radiation.
The weakness.
The throwing up.
Finding out about the brain tumor.
The radiation for that.
But my Dee Dee died two days after her birthday.
1943-2007
My Popaw took such good care of her the whole time.
He loved her.
He still loves her, even though he's gotten married again.
I loved her.
I still love her.
But I don't miss her anymore.
Its been nearly two years and I don't cry anymore.
She's not in the ground, she's in my head.
She was my biggest fan.
I dreamed about her last night.
I dreamed about being in her house, which is where my mom lives now.
I dreamed she was talking about how "Aunt Nancy" was so mean to her.
She was sitting in my Popaw's blue recliner in my dream.
I could see her, I could hear her.
In my dream she sounded exactly like she did in real life.
She looked like she did in real life.
In my dream, they had installed a big claw footed tub in the living room in front of their bay window but the curtain didn't reach all the way around the shower so people could see you from the other side of the window.
She went to get her purse so she could explain to me why she liked it so much.
And then I got a text message and she was gone.
My mama.
Woke me up.
My Dee Dee disappeared.
My mama said that she dreams about her too, and that she doesn't miss her anymore.
She says that it has helped her to live in Dee Dee's house.
Oh, how I loved my Dee Dee.
Can't wait to see her again.

Nikki likes to blog too!

Fathers' Day

Here is a picture of me and my daddy.

For Fathers' Day I gave my daddy a hoe, something I knew he would use.

Death

Even though I work in a funeral home, death still affects me.
A classmate of mine died yesterday.
We weren't especially close but she was going to be working at one of the other funeral homes I work for.
We'd had classes together in the fall but not this semester.
I just saw her two weeks ago and now she's dead.
I am sad but I'm not too sad because I know she's in a better place now.
This helps me to remember what other people are going through and feel like when they come to the funeral home.
R.I.P. Dawn
Sigma Phi Sigma 2010

Spring Break Resolutions

With my spring break starting Thursday at 11 AM I have decided to make a few new resolutions.
(They say that making them in January is not helpful and I have found this to be true because I can't even remember the ones I made then.)
Ahem.
I am planning to: exercise more, eat more healthy and less junk, cook more, study more, procrastinate (no, better not put that one), pack my apartment up well before time to move and in the process clean out my closets and throw some junk away!
Wonder if I can keep up with such a stout list?
How many of these were on the Jan 1 list?

So Sleepy.......

I'm exhausted.
This whole "spring-ahead" business is over-rated in the sleep department.
Why can't they cut out an hour during the day?
Lots of people work on Saturdays and Sundays and would be glad to lose an hour......
Or at least I would.
I hate being sleep-deprived.
Why in the heck do I need 8 hours (sometimes more) to feel like I am at my very best and other people are so lucky as to bounce around all over the place everyday, running on four?
The world ain't fair I tell you.
Sigh............

The Shortest Birthday in the History of Time!!!!!!

Yesterday was my mom's 40th birthday.
"I'm getting old," she says.
Uh-huh.
So I (and my sisters) threw her a surprise birthday party.
I spent SEVEN hours of preparation (buying things, decorating, cleaning, and lots of waiting) for a TEN MINUTE surprise birthday party!
(The reason it was so short is because my littlest sister had to make it to softball practice and Mama got home late.)
I'm not happy.
But I tried.
Maybe the 50th will be better.
One can only hope.

Now it's just Me

Elvis has passed.

I'm kind of upset but then again not.

I knew this day would come.
I'm burying him tonight in Taylor's backyard.

Right now he's in my freezer in a shoe box.
I don't think I'll get anymore pets for a while.

They all die.

I've still got Luna though.

Snow

It really snowed.
Usually when they threaten snow it never really happens and life just carries on as normal.
But I woke up this morning and my car was covered in two inches and it was still coming down!
I am not a fan of cold weather.
Everyone knows I would rather sweat than freeze.
I can't wait for summer.

Weather

Its crazy how Alabama people will absolutely freak out if somebody whispers the word "snow" but are bound and determined to go to the cemetery on a funeral during a LIGHTENING STORM!!!!

I'm Really Dreading This.....

I have to have my wisdom teeth taken out.
All four of them.
At once!!
I am not excited about this at all.
In fact, I'm down right dreading it.
I'm worried something is going to go wrong.
And if something does go wrong I will have to be carried to the hospital by AMBULANCE!!
I'm terrified of the ambulance.
I would rather die!
I'm not afraid to die, I would like to sign a DNR before my surgery but dentists don't usually have that kind of paperwork.
If I did die, that's ok, I work at the funeral home; I've got connections.
I'm not looking forward to the anesthesia.
I don't like not being in full control of myself.
But I have to do this because if I don't, my straight teeth will be crooked again.
Sigh.......
March 13th 2009.
The countdown is on.

Beauty Walk 2009

Last night was the Beauty Walk at my alma mater.
My little sister was a contestant.
She didn't place but she was so gorgeous!

Mrs. Jaudon

I've been thinking about my highschool math teacher alot lately.
I had this lady for 3 years, Algebra I, Geometry, and Algebra II.
Her classes were so hard but I'm glad now that I'm taking College Algebra.
Its still hard but not as hard as it could have been if I hadn't had her tough classes.
Somedays I wanted to strangle her because I was so frustrated with her classes but it was all worth it now.
Math is super hard for me, this is somewhat of a big deal.
Thanks Mrs. Jaudon!!
I'm taking my first online classes this semester.
Its definitely different than the regular classroom setting.
I like doing things by myself though so that's a plus.