7-30-07

Last year on the first anniversary of my grandmother's death I went to her grave.
This year I went to visit Boots.
Didn't go to her grave.
Didn't talk about her to anybody.
Never mentioned her the whole day.
But I thought about her the whole day.
Shortly before my grandpa got married I decided that there was no use in me being sad anymore.
Being sad wasn't going to bring her back.
Nothing will.
I don't cry about her anymore.
I don't go visit her grave anymore.
She's not there.
She's in my head.
In my head, she'll never die.
Even though she did die, I will remember her until I can't remember her anymore, because she's in my head.
I loved her.
I still love her but its not the same kind of love.
I think about her all the time.